Women's Quotes

1.  I'm not offended by all the dumb
    blonde jokes, because I know I'm
    not dumb---and I also know that
    I'm not blonde
    ---Dolly Parton---

2.   You see a lot of smart guys with
     dumb women, but you hardly ever see
     a smart woman with a dumb guy.
     ---Erica Jong---

3.   I want to have children, but my
     friends scare me.  One of  my
     friends told me she was in labour
     for 36 hrs.  I don't even want to do
     anything that feels good for 36 hrs.
     ---Rita Rudner---

4.   My husband and I are either going
     to buy a dog or have a child.  We
     can't decide to ruin our carpet or
     our lives.
      ---Rita Rudner---

5.   I've been on so many blind dates
     I should get a free dog.
    ---Wendy Liebman---

6.   Never lend your car to anyone to
     whom you have given birth.
     ---Erma Bombeck---

7.   If high heels were so wonderful,
     men would still be wearing them.
     ---Sue Grafton---

8.   I'm not going to vacuum until Sears
     makes one you can ride on.
     ---Roseanne Barr---

9.   I think----therefore I'm single.
     ---Lizz Winstead---

10.  When women are depressed they either
     eat or go shopping.  Men invade
     another country.
      ---Elayne Bossler---

11.  Behind every successful man
     is a surprised woman.
      ---Maryon Pearson---

12.  I base most of my fashion taste
     on what doesn't itch.
       ---Gilda Radner---

13.  In politics, if you want anything
     said, ask a man.  If you want
     anything done, ask a woman.
     ---Margaret Thatcher---

14.  I have yet to hear a man ask for
     advice on how to combine
     marriage & a career.
      ---Gloria Steinem---

15.  Some of us are becoming the
     men we wanted to marry.
     ---Gloria Steinem---

16.  I never married because there was no
     need.  I have three pets at home which
     answer the same purpose as a husband.
     I have a dog that growls every morning,
     I have a parrot that swears all afternoon,
     & a cat that comes home late at night.
     ---Marie Corelli---

17.  Nagging is the repetition of
     unpalatable truths.
     ---Baroness Edith-Summerskill---

18.  If men can run the world, why can't
     they stop wearing neckties?
     How intelligent is it to start the day
     by tying a little noose around your neck?
     ---Linda Ellerbee---

19.  I am a marvelous housekeeper.
     Every time I leave a man I keep his
     house.
     ---Zsa Zsa Gabor---

20.  Nobody can make you feel inferior
     without your permission.
     ---Eleanor Roosevelt---