After the annual office party blowout, John woke up with a pounding 
headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of 
the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to 
make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. 
Louise," he moaned, "Tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as 
I think ?"
"Even worse," she assured him, voice dripping with scorn. "You made a 
complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire senior 
management, and insulted the Regional Director General to his face."
"He's an asshole. I should have pissed on him."
"You did," Louise informed him. "And he fired you."
"Well, fuck him," said John.
"I did. You're back at work on Monday."