Disorder in the Court:

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court.  These are 
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken 
down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment 
of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.


Q:  What is your date of birth?
A:  July fifteenth.
Q:  What year?
A:  Every year.
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Q:  What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A:  Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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Q:  This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A:  Yes.
Q:  And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A:  I forget.
Q:  You forget. Can you give us an example of something that 
you've forgotten?
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Q:  How old is your son, the one living with you?
A:  Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q:  How long has he lived with you?
A:  Forty-five years.
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Q:  What was the first thing your husband said to you when he 
woke up that morning?
A:  He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q:  And why did that upset you?
A:  My name is Susan.
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Q:  Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his 
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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Q:  The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
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Q:  Were you present at the time your picture was taken?
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Q:  So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A:  Yes.
Q:  And what were you doing at that time?
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Q:  She had three children, right?
A:  Yes.
Q:  How many were boys?
A:  None.
Q:  Were there any girls?
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Q:  How was your first marriage terminated?
A:  By death.
Q:  And by whose death was it terminated?
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Q:  Can you describe the individual?
A:  He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q:  Was this a male, or a female?
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Q:  Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a 
deposition notice that I sent to your attorney?
A:  No, this is how I always dress when I go to work.
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Q:  Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead 
people?
A:  All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
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Q:  All your responses must be oral, OK?  What school did you go 
to?
A:  Oral.
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Q:  Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A:  The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q:  And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A:  No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy on him.
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Q:  Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
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Q:  Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for 
a pulse?
A:  No.
Q:  Did you check for blood pressure?
A:  No.
Q:  Did you check for breathing?
A:  No.
Q:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you 
began the autopsy?
A:  No.
Q:  How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A:  Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q:  But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A:  Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and 
practicing law somewhere.